"The Big Five"

Today, we have a special blog...top headlines from Dr. Dell Crosby. Jessica Golden, international correspondent for Lakeview broadcasting network (LBN) reporting live from the Mansa Airport in north central Zambia (which is in south central Africa).



Anyone who has been to Africa knows of the big five. People long to see the big five and many only see 3 or 4 of them. Now, in the Samfya Medical Clinic, we have discovered the real big five of Africa. Before I indulge the big five, I first must give background explanation. As one carries out a mission medical clinic in the bush of Africa, it becomes evident that most of the people coming to the clinic have no pathology whatsoever. Their reason for coming to the clinic is much the same reason as a large gathering in America would turn out to see the president come to their hometown. It's an unusual event and it's free! I would estimate 80% of the patient clientele present with a complaint of most, if not all, of the big five.
The big five can be communicated verbally or by hand motion. Hand motions are as follows: the right hand sweeps across the forehead and back and forth between the eyes. Then the left hand spreads fingers wide upon the center of the chest, sweeping around the complete thorax until it includes the upper aspect of the back. Then both hands cover the upper epigastrium and sweep into a dropping motion covering the entire abdomen, flanking the waist and resting on either side of the lower back. Finally, to complete the big five, the hands pan down both legs to the ankles, with no specificity for any joint... It's simply the entire legs.
If the big five is verbalized, it includes "my head is paining, my eyes are weak, my chest is tingling and exploding, the back is burning, my stomach hurts terribly, especially in the waist and when my eyes burn, and my legs are lacking in the power." As leg pain is described, as a physician, I search deeply and yearningly to find a specific joint that I can do something about, such as a knee that I can inject, but there is rarely any such help. It's just, "all my legs and both of my legs."
Another distinguishing characteristic of the big five is the duration of the symptoms... The average acuity per symptom is 10 years. And if any patient ever reveals one of the big five that is less than one year old, we rush them immediately to the acute care procedure room where we can possible fix one of the big five. But in actuality, the consistent miracle cure for any and all of the big five is ibuprofen, otherwise known as the little orange pill.





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After this experience, Dr. Dell Crosby has decided he will start his own blog. The address will be revealed shortly.

On a serious note, we did see some patients with serious medical problems and we are not making fun of them in any way - just simply trying to describe those patients that came to us in very good health, merely wanting to see the American doctors!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Mansa, Africa